im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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