if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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