I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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