im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
