Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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