And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You have to summon your inner elephant
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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