just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
