Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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