If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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