bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
