Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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