I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
