I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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