Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
