a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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