Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
