wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
do herpes really smell.
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hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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