They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants are for mortals
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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