youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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