then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
