She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
