Where is the hickey?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize