glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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