Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
