Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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