Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
