Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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