Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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