sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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