Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
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