You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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