I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize