Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
