just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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