I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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