she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
