what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
