If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
