His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
