I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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