Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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