i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
