the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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