Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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