every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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