Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.

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  (513): Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box. http://tfl.nu/uquv
  Replies (7) Good night (3414) Bad night (717)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell

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  (615): jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell http://tfl.nu/zqhf
  Replies (51) Good night (1437) Bad night (3645)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  6 min

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  (215): what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers (1-215): 6 min http://tfl.nu/dx1s
  Replies (64) Good night (10921) Bad night (2033)
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  (925): View more from California

  Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.

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  (925): Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here. http://tfl.nu/dbsi
  Replies (9) Good night (3652) Bad night (1081)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out

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  (253): Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out http://tfl.nu/bygf
  Replies (4) Good night (6672) Bad night (1101)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.

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  (712): I just negotiated a blow job for an interview. http://tfl.nu/ow0d
  Replies (15) Good night (3870) Bad night (1394)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night

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  (608): I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night http://tfl.nu/nzfl
  Replies (23) Good night (6265) Bad night (1228)
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  (845): View more from New York

  you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic

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  (845): you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic http://tfl.nu/aiqs
  Replies (4) Good night (2500) Bad night (649)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.

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  (732): Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful. http://tfl.nu/p1yf
  Replies (3) Good night (888) Bad night (2822)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.

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  (315): He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like. http://tfl.nu/nq61
  Replies (6) Good night (1066) Bad night (3161)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.

  (1-870): View more from Arkansas

  You always know what to say to make me feel better.

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  (870): If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you. (1-870): You always know what to say to make me feel better. http://tfl.nu/or61
  Replies (2) Good night (1846) Bad night (687)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on

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  (616): Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on http://tfl.nu/xayw
  Replies (10) Good night (1438) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.

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  (818): He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type. http://tfl.nu/n4gn
  Replies (4) Good night (1737) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.

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  (941): Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested. http://tfl.nu/uoo2
  Replies (2) Good night (252) Bad night (648)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich

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  (201): And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich http://tfl.nu/6ewp
  Replies (0) Good night (370) Bad night (312)

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