at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.