Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(205): View more from Alabama

at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"

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(716): View more from New York

Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her

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(714): View more from California

i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick

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(561): View more from Florida

oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything

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(443): View more from Maryland

I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.

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(480): View more from Arizona

oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone

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(540): View more from Virginia

Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.

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(915): View more from Texas

Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.

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