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y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
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