Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it

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  (508): Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it http://tfl.nu/y6rt
  Replies (16) Good night (4470) Bad night (1084)
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  (845): View more from New York

  We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.

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  (845): We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey. http://tfl.nu/dkad
  Replies (38) Good night (3941) Bad night (1758)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.

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  (270): Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night. http://tfl.nu/gp7l
  Replies (7) Good night (2626) Bad night (1557)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.

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  (814): the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently. http://tfl.nu/7dnx
  Replies (6) Good night (3669) Bad night (845)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.

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  (810): I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago. http://tfl.nu/b9vc
  Replies (21) Good night (4970) Bad night (1250)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.

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  (423): I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover. http://tfl.nu/w5jl
  Replies (5) Good night (4307) Bad night (1484)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?

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  (503): He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads? http://tfl.nu/30tf
  Replies (7) Good night (2840) Bad night (750)
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  (408): View more from California

  I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.

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  (408): I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples. http://tfl.nu/z6gq
  Replies (2) Good night (520) Bad night (942)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?

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  (972): I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right? http://tfl.nu/cvur
  Replies (3) Good night (496) Bad night (849)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text

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  (404): also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text http://tfl.nu/b0kp
  Replies (3) Good night (459) Bad night (622)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet

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  (734): I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet http://tfl.nu/92s9
  Replies (4) Good night (527) Bad night (526)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.

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  (860): I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today. http://tfl.nu/vp47
  Replies (8) Good night (370) Bad night (873)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.

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  (205): I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good. http://tfl.nu/87eb
  Replies (6) Good night (386) Bad night (619)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.

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  (989): Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it. http://tfl.nu/6s40
  Replies (1) Good night (961) Bad night (384)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  This is my life. Enjoy the view

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  (250): This is my life. Enjoy the view http://tfl.nu/hr1c
  Replies (0) Good night (422) Bad night (207)

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