Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..

Fav 7 4305 1157
share tweet
(630): View more from Illinois

just tell him i said nine months

Fav 4 856 3980
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work

Fav 3 1249 3496
share tweet
(937): View more from Ohio

I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.

Fav 3 1074 1528
share tweet
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Read it at the TFLN blog
(455): View more from

As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."

Fav 10 846 2433
share tweet
(612): View more from Minnesota

Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.

Fav 1 974 1053
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(731): View more from Tennessee

She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro

Fav 24 4646 1034
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(847): View more from Illinois

there was so much lube in my brother's closet...

Fav 2 583 1147
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(775): View more from Nevada

That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey

Fav 0 229 161
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT