You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples