youre lurking in front of me
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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