Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
