Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
