oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
