just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Are we still banned from the library?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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