Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize