I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
The adults are the big ones right?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
