Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
we're so committed to being not committed
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
