It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
