Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize