I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
