just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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