You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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