the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'm both gender and math confused
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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