There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
