I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
