what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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