There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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